My Blabber

Yesterday I thought it would be harder to live like that. Today I know that it's hard. But I am doing just fine.

I'm typing from work, because in the evening I went to my parents' place as I had to retrieve some spare parts for the shower (I got mine broken the other day). I had almost no internet (a few videos of Muse from mobile does not count) as my computer there has this NFS error. I am still remembering what to do with it, but I am sure that this is not a good stuff. I should buy additional hard discs...

Anyhow, today I am going to the cinema with a girl. I hope we will get the tickets for this new Harry Potter film. Plus, going to the cinema with her simply ROCKS, so I'm happy for myself.

He wrote me an sms today. Totally an emergency one, so I replied. Nothing personal. I guess he knows what I'm going through. And it's good that he respects this.

Today I think about the time we have spent together more than yesterday. I'm remembering some scenes, like deem light from the window as the morning slowly comes and holding hands in McD... And I should not think about it.

Oh, should I give him time to realize and see everything that we can be? Hell no, no, no. Though, I feel like falling apart. I was fighting for something that never existed and the chances of it to appear were low. But hope, being a silly thing, is a strong thing at the same time.

All this blabber gets on my nerves, actually. All these thoughts and feelings are stressful and unneeded. I get it, I should let go. And yes, it hurts. And I will be alright. This is the lesson I should learn at this moment of my life. It will make me stronger. I will overcome my doubts and fears. I will understand what is worth believing in and what is not. It'll make me a wiser person.

I don't think that this is the time I start building walls around myself. I guess the later it happens the better. Openness is something I cherish, for it helped me to get over the depression many times before. I like telling my story to people, as you can see. Though, I don't really feel like talking about this, because it upsets me.

I do not intend to bore anyone with my life drama. I'm writing all this here to ease my mind, so I will lighten my burdens and feel better.