Wow, have those days really passed? There were very few things I remember from 3 previous days. My work makes me feel as if I'm getting dumber, because I sit in a haze and am so sleepy I can fall off the chair straight into the dreams. It's just that my common sense vanishes and I act like a damaged robot all these 9 hours I spend in the building. I think of what I could have done in this amount of time and I realize that there are so many things I want to do.
This work does not have a meaning for me. No, it actually does: to gain experience, to learn legal stuff... But there is nothing behind it.
Anyway, I have realized yet the other thing about myself: I can't make my life happier. It's just that I won't smile to my parents, won't say something nice to people around me. That does not make the world brighter, but I can't do anything about it - I can't convince myself open my mouth and say 'hooray, I'm eating my mum's stuff and it's so tasty I can munch it forever' (my mum does not cook much lately, but whatever). I might be slightly exaggerating things. But you got the idea.
Today I have a wedding to attend. So, I have to prepare for it a little bit.
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