I want to start blogging again to track my daily thoughts. I'd like to catch the flow of my life and what leads to what.
I mostly live in my head and internet and neglect most of my duties and things I really have to do.
For example, I should tell guys that I do not wish to date them and no, they should not tell me they love me because it's either an old story and they've already proved it wrong or I don't believe in love anyway. Because nobody's worth it. I mean if I'm not worth it (and I have always presumed myself to be an outstanding awesome person) then who is?
I don't know what's going to happen. But I can pretty much imagine my future. It's not what I imagined it to be when I was younger. And it does not look that bright.
I changed the bulb in the headlights of my car today. Spent almost an hour because I did not know how to do that and it did not work in the end and I got very cold. You know that feeling after you've been very cold for a long time that stays inside and you can still feel it in your throat and chest the whole day. This is it for me now. But I've felt it some other times, too. And I've felt it in summer as well. I guess it's my heritage as a person who's well aware of the country in which she was born.
Er, I should study but I tumblr instead and do nothing. Cooked some meat today, though. It turned out ok.
I just feel that I spend less time on thinking about myself. It's like drifting mindlessly. And I need to stop that. I don't really want to go back to when I was over-thinking everything, but I'd like to turn to more positive thinking. Because I know my life won't be full of adventures and wonders as I thought it would, but I could still try to make it bearable.
And I know I'm yet to meet the person who'll make me feel as happy as my geekiness makes me. Well, one more like that.
I mostly live in my head and internet and neglect most of my duties and things I really have to do.
For example, I should tell guys that I do not wish to date them and no, they should not tell me they love me because it's either an old story and they've already proved it wrong or I don't believe in love anyway. Because nobody's worth it. I mean if I'm not worth it (and I have always presumed myself to be an outstanding awesome person) then who is?
I don't know what's going to happen. But I can pretty much imagine my future. It's not what I imagined it to be when I was younger. And it does not look that bright.
I changed the bulb in the headlights of my car today. Spent almost an hour because I did not know how to do that and it did not work in the end and I got very cold. You know that feeling after you've been very cold for a long time that stays inside and you can still feel it in your throat and chest the whole day. This is it for me now. But I've felt it some other times, too. And I've felt it in summer as well. I guess it's my heritage as a person who's well aware of the country in which she was born.
Er, I should study but I tumblr instead and do nothing. Cooked some meat today, though. It turned out ok.
I just feel that I spend less time on thinking about myself. It's like drifting mindlessly. And I need to stop that. I don't really want to go back to when I was over-thinking everything, but I'd like to turn to more positive thinking. Because I know my life won't be full of adventures and wonders as I thought it would, but I could still try to make it bearable.
And I know I'm yet to meet the person who'll make me feel as happy as my geekiness makes me. Well, one more like that.
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