My Crying in the Doorway

We broke up.
It got me after a call, actually. Just a simple mobile phone call. I know I should not have cried. And the reason for my crying is somewhere else.

I cried, leaning at the doorway, sitting there on the floor. I felt that I could not move any more after I made a few steps to the bathroom.

I used quite the same mantra that I used during my first year at the Uni. It was slightly changed though.

I am strong.
Hope is a foolish feeling.
Everything is going to be alright.
I swear it's going to be OK.

My meds are working just fine. But still I could not eat for two days. And I could not get myself to sleep, and for that I mostly blame my recent sleep pattern.

It actually took me a few years to realise what I wanted. My life has been circling around this one idea. I was not blind. I guess I was afraid. I still am.

But everything is going to be alright, because I promised it to myself.