My Time to Drink

Yui and I emptied a bottle of cream sherry last night. We have planned for a few months to get drunk, so - check.
We just talked and watched Star Trek (if I watch it with V. this month, I'll go crazy).
I knew Yui would not be able to sleep well at a new place, but I fell asleep earlier than I could think of any good plan to make her comfortable. For that I'm sorry. And I'm sorry that she is playing this game I gave her, we have an exam quite soon.
Tonight I watched two silly rom-coms. They were actually lovely. Yup, I'm a girl and romantic stuff is something I really miss in life.
I mean, I can try to remember what Maverick deck has in it, or start playing online games with him, so his dream will come true (he dreamed about that, huh), or do some winter sports, or go with him camping in the wild. He can give up smoking, show some interest in SF stuff, go through books that I like... But we don't really do this, right? It's the time that you realize your cost and the price you set for a person.
You think that there is a crisis following these thoughts? I hope not. It's just something you've got to deal with. It will either work out itself, or - whatever.

My Half a Month for Good

'Good' is a mark that I got for the exam.
Anyhow, I am finally getting used to exams. I mean first two years I was messing this up with thoughts like "I'm not supposed to be there" or "I hate this". Yeah, I still have these from time to time. But I manage it much better.
I was thinking that it is nice to have a boyfriend. Because you can actually fall in love with one guy over and over again. Plus you don't have to worry about whether he likes you or not, because you already know the answer.
We went to a scary movie yesterday (was not that scary, but had some devilish/deathly mystery), but with my beloved it was much better than dealing with it on my own.

My Goals for 2011

I can guess why I haven't posted a list of goals for this year.
Frankly, I am tired of this. I am never going to learn French or travel more or change for the better. Because there is still that thing in me. This darkness is evolving, it does not seem to let me go. I can forget about it, I can avoid these feelings, but this will come back.
I will never become the person I am not. Even if I try to wake up earlier, to eat healthier something will meddle with it.

Dad told me that I'd better study from 8 to 12 in the morning, because that's the most productive time of the day for the brain.
I woke up at 1 p.m. today. It was after I ignored 4 alarms in the morning.

I want to think about life more. But I waste my time instead.

My Theory of Types

I have various theories of types of things.
For instance, types of loneliness. I do not do the thorough classification, but I tend to discern people by these types. Whether he becomes needy for someone to come and be with him or he goes and throws himself to the company of random people. Or whether he is the one to do the same for the person who is lonely: come to his place at any time or invite him to a party.
Anyhow, now I have another theory. It can be called the theory of types of love, but I think that love differs from a person to person not only in type, but also in strength.
Do you love a person who loves you equally?
It does not mean that somebody is limited in the strength of his love and in the way he can be loved back. It's between people mostly. I guess, you got to find a person who loves you equally and by the same type of love for the relationship to be OK. But you can also find a person who will love you back the way you do, while you love with all your heart. Then you can achieve happiness.
But that's just a theory.

My 2010: Credits

If you are looking for previous years credits - it's here (2009) and here (2008).

For 2010:

1. I have grown up yet again, now I'm much stronger mentally. The following will explain.
2. I was loved back. For the first time of my life I have found a guy who loved me back. It was the greatest thing that has happened to me in 2010. And I realized, that maintaining a long relationship is a hard thing, indeed. This point is the dearest in the list. It has surely influenced my life dramatically.
   
3. I have read 37 books (counted only those, not related to University or work). I know, that my goal was 53 (as 1 per week), but more than a half is a good result, isn't it? Plus, it gave me so much, that I am going to carry on this a-book-a-week plan. And at the end of the year I started reading Max Frei.
   
4. I got a job. Now I am officially a lawyer. And my salary gives me some more freedom and independence from my parents, as I started paying for flat myself.
   
5. I did not write anything. I have tried to start something, tried NaNoWriMo, but did not get a solid thing.
6. I dropped watching anime completely, but I watched a decent amount of TV series. Oh yes, Torchwood and Doctor Who was 2010 as well! And Merlin, and TBBT, and How I Met Your Mother, and Gossip Girl...
   
7. I became more girly (as opposed to what happened in 2009), see point 2 for explanation.
8. I lost weight and stabilized my health. I woke up at 5-30 for some time at the beginning of spring, but now my sleep pattern is more chaotic.
   
9. I tried to manage all the things during the first semester of the third year: lover, work, friends, studies (in that very order). I did not really succeed, but I'll try to do that again. And I will reestablish my priorities this time.
   
10. I had my deepest depression in spring of 2010. I did not really blog it here, but it was some kind of a turning point. I am very happy that somehow it led to meeting with my beloved and starting a relationship.
    
11. I began playing MTG and UT 3, as my beloved plays these games.
    
12. I strengthened my relationships with some friends. I became more close to Yui, too.
13. I enlarged my music sight.
    
14. I got a new car, and she's great! And I have already been in the maintenance because of the accident. Plus that was my first winter on the road.
15. I had real failures at the University (like failing zachots, not answering at seminars) but I ruled from time to time. I will try better next semester for sure.
    

That's it, I guess. I did not do a lot of planned stuff. But I have accomplished a few great things and I am proud of myself. I know I can do better next year.