I want to watch new anime, I want it right now. Argh!
The next Sunday there will be a new ongoing which I will watch no matter what. But... I want to watch more, I want to see some good old series which I haven't seen yet. But... I know I should not.
I guess I'm tired of working on my course work. But I will finish it today and tomorrow I am going to register it and give it to my curator. Yup, I'm gonna do this! And after that I will relax and watch something good ^^
Quite motivative on the last day, isn't it?
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
My Linkoln concept
I've been thinking about it for a while and I think I am ready to begin now.
The concept is that you have some good habits that you want to gain. Then you give yourself a week to live with the habit as if you have it already and you focus on it only. The next week goes with another habit etc. When the list of habits ends you begin again, mastering them as much as possible. (though it does not appeal to the Toyota's concept when if you are going to get rid of some bad habit you do that once and forever)
So, I have a few ideas in my mind.
1. get up early
2. prepare for each class
3. speak up at every class
4. read every day
Something like that. I will see if I am really going to try this. Because telling yourself 'it is just for a week' can have different results after a week's time.
The concept is that you have some good habits that you want to gain. Then you give yourself a week to live with the habit as if you have it already and you focus on it only. The next week goes with another habit etc. When the list of habits ends you begin again, mastering them as much as possible. (though it does not appeal to the Toyota's concept when if you are going to get rid of some bad habit you do that once and forever)
So, I have a few ideas in my mind.
1. get up early
2. prepare for each class
3. speak up at every class
4. read every day
Something like that. I will see if I am really going to try this. Because telling yourself 'it is just for a week' can have different results after a week's time.
My row of posts
Well, as I'm reading an article '10 tips for college students at Steve Pavlina's site I will have to write down all y thoughts right away. Because he gives many.
Ok, now is the time for analyzing my goals for each class. I have 11 of them as of today.
1. Human Salvation - it is just for the mark and nothing more. So I do some sketching and writing at the same time. That appeals to my 2009 year goal - drawing good.
2. Constitutional law. Talking. I would really like talking in the class because there are a lot of interesting stuff in the discussions but I do not participate in them. Need more reading, I guess.
3. National History. just for the mark, I would have said. But it is quite interesting - those ideas I mean.
4. History of National Government and law. Good mark + understanding and knowing the material. Because it is necessary for understanding the following material.
5. History of Foreign Government and Law. Excellent mark. Because damn she failed me in the first exam and I seek for revenge.
6. IT - nothing other than a mark. I am trying to reduce time wasted on that as much as I can.
7. Roman Law - understanding. It will be required later + interest
8. Theory of Government and law. Erm. Speaking? I do not do that at all in the class. So I don't really know. Though I will have to learn everything because those are basis.
9. J. Cleary class. Language + understanding. Nothing more can be gained because it is an optional class.
10. English. *sighes* for the mark.
I want to talk more in classes. I just think that is the purpose to even go to the University- that speaking experience is necessary. And not only speaking with friends but also speak in public.
Ok, now is the time for analyzing my goals for each class. I have 11 of them as of today.
1. Human Salvation - it is just for the mark and nothing more. So I do some sketching and writing at the same time. That appeals to my 2009 year goal - drawing good.
2. Constitutional law. Talking. I would really like talking in the class because there are a lot of interesting stuff in the discussions but I do not participate in them. Need more reading, I guess.
3. National History. just for the mark, I would have said. But it is quite interesting - those ideas I mean.
4. History of National Government and law. Good mark + understanding and knowing the material. Because it is necessary for understanding the following material.
5. History of Foreign Government and Law. Excellent mark. Because damn she failed me in the first exam and I seek for revenge.
6. IT - nothing other than a mark. I am trying to reduce time wasted on that as much as I can.
7. Roman Law - understanding. It will be required later + interest
8. Theory of Government and law. Erm. Speaking? I do not do that at all in the class. So I don't really know. Though I will have to learn everything because those are basis.
9. J. Cleary class. Language + understanding. Nothing more can be gained because it is an optional class.
10. English. *sighes* for the mark.
I want to talk more in classes. I just think that is the purpose to even go to the University- that speaking experience is necessary. And not only speaking with friends but also speak in public.
My reasons for college
Why I am (still) going to college? - that was the question of Steve Pavlina, whom I respect.
So, I want to think about it there. The thing is - this is a difficult question.
1. It is prestigious. Right now I am at a good college and you will not believe me if I say what college it is. But I would like to go to the foreign country to study, because I would like to experience how it is like to be alone in the whole country and have a purpose for it. Language is also important for me. Maybe I am just a linguistic person.
2. Opportunities in future. Come on, lawyers are well-paid.
3. Fun & experience. If it was not for fun, I would not like it this much. And I have friends there and stuff to do. Today I learned how to play poker. Though, it may be not a good thing to play those kind of games, but as for experience - it was totally great.
4. Parents' expectations. I'm trying to meet them. I'm not trying hard enough, I know that and I'm working on it.
5. To Study. I mean I like to learn new things and I like to have harsh times, critical moments etc. I like studying overall.
6. To have time on thinking and improving my life. I guess that it is my time now. Even though I have a lot of things to do as I am trying to be serious about college. But still I have more time for myself than I would have had if I worked.
So, I want to think about it there. The thing is - this is a difficult question.
1. It is prestigious. Right now I am at a good college and you will not believe me if I say what college it is. But I would like to go to the foreign country to study, because I would like to experience how it is like to be alone in the whole country and have a purpose for it. Language is also important for me. Maybe I am just a linguistic person.
2. Opportunities in future. Come on, lawyers are well-paid.
3. Fun & experience. If it was not for fun, I would not like it this much. And I have friends there and stuff to do. Today I learned how to play poker. Though, it may be not a good thing to play those kind of games, but as for experience - it was totally great.
4. Parents' expectations. I'm trying to meet them. I'm not trying hard enough, I know that and I'm working on it.
5. To Study. I mean I like to learn new things and I like to have harsh times, critical moments etc. I like studying overall.
6. To have time on thinking and improving my life. I guess that it is my time now. Even though I have a lot of things to do as I am trying to be serious about college. But still I have more time for myself than I would have had if I worked.
Monday, March 16, 2009
My trying
Oh yes, weekends came to an end (an hour ago) and I'm trying to write here more - that's it.
I've wrote 1 page of my course work today, watched a movie 'Australia' which I liked because it was not some melodrama and because there was Wolverine and Kidman. Well, I also went to the shop with my parents and we bought (for me) a phone (because it has some problems with its battery), a monitor (nyah, it was their idea), external dvd-rw (nyah-nyah!) I am a little bit embarrassed because they spent money on me...
Well, now I have two weeks to finish my course work and get rid of it. Then, I'll set my next goal - prepairing for the next exams time.
Mah, I want to spend more time on reading and learning languages, but wth I do not? Stupid studying...
I'll go to sleep now.
I've wrote 1 page of my course work today, watched a movie 'Australia' which I liked because it was not some melodrama and because there was Wolverine and Kidman. Well, I also went to the shop with my parents and we bought (for me) a phone (because it has some problems with its battery), a monitor (nyah, it was their idea), external dvd-rw (nyah-nyah!) I am a little bit embarrassed because they spent money on me...
Well, now I have two weeks to finish my course work and get rid of it. Then, I'll set my next goal - prepairing for the next exams time.
Mah, I want to spend more time on reading and learning languages, but wth I do not? Stupid studying...
I'll go to sleep now.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
My monologue
I write here extremely rarely lately (did I use those -ly words correctLY?).
Today I've had a monologue for about half an hour and I talked about my point of view on life and about my heroes. I talked in an empty room - for myself only (maybe some of my neighbors listened, though).
I admire a few fictional characters in my life. They are: Lelouch, Simon from TTGL, Sirano from the play that I've seen this week (played by students of my University - I loved it). There are more, but I will end the list here so that I won't need to explain why and where they are from.
I thought what similar characteristics they do have. And the point that I got was their hero behavior. So I wanted to understand what stands for this 'hero behavior' thing. And I guess that it is the honor to be a man and the respect for yourself plus belief in your own strength.
Then I thought why I admire them at all. And I think that is because I want to be like them. I want to be respected and to be respected by me first of all. I want to be a hero for myself, that is it. That was my main idea tonight.
After that I thought about what I can do to change something in my behavior and life - that is not that interesting because I should think more about that later.
I also touched some delicate problems, which I do not want to write about here (like writing, literature, my ignorance etc.)
My bro is coming soon, so I've got to go now.
One last thing: I am going to try my best to be a hero
bye-nee!
Today I've had a monologue for about half an hour and I talked about my point of view on life and about my heroes. I talked in an empty room - for myself only (maybe some of my neighbors listened, though).
I admire a few fictional characters in my life. They are: Lelouch, Simon from TTGL, Sirano from the play that I've seen this week (played by students of my University - I loved it). There are more, but I will end the list here so that I won't need to explain why and where they are from.
I thought what similar characteristics they do have. And the point that I got was their hero behavior. So I wanted to understand what stands for this 'hero behavior' thing. And I guess that it is the honor to be a man and the respect for yourself plus belief in your own strength.
Then I thought why I admire them at all. And I think that is because I want to be like them. I want to be respected and to be respected by me first of all. I want to be a hero for myself, that is it. That was my main idea tonight.
After that I thought about what I can do to change something in my behavior and life - that is not that interesting because I should think more about that later.
I also touched some delicate problems, which I do not want to write about here (like writing, literature, my ignorance etc.)
My bro is coming soon, so I've got to go now.
One last thing: I am going to try my best to be a hero
bye-nee!
Monday, March 9, 2009
My days off
As I've said many many times before (but I like to say it again to feel as miserable as I can) I lack willpower. I advanced a little bit, though. Because I do not watch anime so much now. Well, there a drawback, too - I do not have enough time spent on English.
I've made up a list about a month ago - a list of 50-smth books which I'd like to read in a year. I'm not moving forward at all.
Anyway, now I spend more time on studies. As I remember it, I realized that I did not get (enough courage) the point of going to school when I was going to finish it. And now there is the same thing at the University - I do not talk and I fear to say something not right. Oh maaan, they just make me feel that if I say something they will murder me right away. But I'm trying, am I not?
And Mr. Polyanski asked me a big question on his seminar last week so I had to go to the blackboard and draw some schemes on it. But I realized I did not understand it right when I read the text at home, so I was kind of not precise right while drawing the scheme. But I loved it - it was more fun than just sitting and listening to others.
On Friday I was almost ready for the sambo competitions but they were cancelled.
Ah, I wrote a little thing and got an idea to draw pictures for it and make something like an art book. That would look nice.
I began reading Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. His writing is so good that I almost forgot about lectures at the University. I read it on Saturday morning at breakfast.
I still suck at the seminars of History of Foreign Government and Law. Mah, I can't think fast when she asks me, I can't think at all, I guess. Last time she asked me a stupid question but I did not manage to answer it and it was so embarrassing it spoiled the whole day.
And yesterday I searched wikipedia for some stuff and now I want to learn about how to play Go and about Games Theory and about the Universe (lol).
I've made up a list about a month ago - a list of 50-smth books which I'd like to read in a year. I'm not moving forward at all.
Anyway, now I spend more time on studies. As I remember it, I realized that I did not get (enough courage) the point of going to school when I was going to finish it. And now there is the same thing at the University - I do not talk and I fear to say something not right. Oh maaan, they just make me feel that if I say something they will murder me right away. But I'm trying, am I not?
And Mr. Polyanski asked me a big question on his seminar last week so I had to go to the blackboard and draw some schemes on it. But I realized I did not understand it right when I read the text at home, so I was kind of not precise right while drawing the scheme. But I loved it - it was more fun than just sitting and listening to others.
On Friday I was almost ready for the sambo competitions but they were cancelled.
Ah, I wrote a little thing and got an idea to draw pictures for it and make something like an art book. That would look nice.
I began reading Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. His writing is so good that I almost forgot about lectures at the University. I read it on Saturday morning at breakfast.
I still suck at the seminars of History of Foreign Government and Law. Mah, I can't think fast when she asks me, I can't think at all, I guess. Last time she asked me a stupid question but I did not manage to answer it and it was so embarrassing it spoiled the whole day.
And yesterday I searched wikipedia for some stuff and now I want to learn about how to play Go and about Games Theory and about the Universe (lol).
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Watashi no Zetsuboushita
I am nothing. I have lost faith in myself.
I don't know how to speak English properly
I make mistakes in Russian
I can't dance
I am in love with my professor
I feel sick being with people because of my low self-appraisal
I am lazy and hesitating
I stopped writing
I can't remember stuff well
I am offended when I do not know/remember something
I eat too much
I do not fulfil my plans
I think unnecessary thoughts
I suck at University
I am afraid to change something and I wake up to the same music for almost a year
I can't draw well
I am jealous of people who do not even care about me much
I've just caused the server to break down with some smoke going out of it and I am in despair. I think that everything I do is pointless and brings only distraction and pain.
I don't know how to speak English properly
I make mistakes in Russian
I can't dance
I am in love with my professor
I feel sick being with people because of my low self-appraisal
I am lazy and hesitating
I stopped writing
I can't remember stuff well
I am offended when I do not know/remember something
I eat too much
I do not fulfil my plans
I think unnecessary thoughts
I suck at University
I am afraid to change something and I wake up to the same music for almost a year
I can't draw well
I am jealous of people who do not even care about me much
I've just caused the server to break down with some smoke going out of it and I am in despair. I think that everything I do is pointless and brings only distraction and pain.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)