My Inception

I watched the movie. And it was good.
And it inserted an idea into my mind that I would like to be exceptional by doing something better than others. It was strangely connected to the certainty of a romance between Arthur and Ariadne. She was just a good student and he was just a good point man. And they've met under some strange circumstances.
Anyway, who would not like to be exceptional? And I have doubts about what path should I choose to become that exceptional character.

You know, even if I'm not doing it, it still feels like I am writing every day of my life. Everything I see I can turn into words in my head without pronouncing them. I did not drop writing, I have been doing it all along. I remember the feeling of writing and I surely can't forget this February. But - I do not know why - I do not materialize my ideas. It is sad. Will I ever start writing again?
I have made so much plans already for the next few months. I even made a list of things I need to do overall. But oh my, I don't feel like I will be able to do this stuff.
I can not see my future now. Everything worries me so much, my hands started shaking again and I have uncontrollable movements of my limbs. I doubt it is because of work, but that is a possible reason.
I have taken up sighing again.
Erm. I want him to come back. I want to think I'm in love again. I want to think I am loved again. I want that safety he gives, since it seems I'm falling somewhere deep into my worried unsatisfied head without him. I want him to ease my mind like he did before. And I am forgetting him when he is not around. You know, time passes strangely in my world.
It could have been anyone, you say? I know it is a lie. I have evidence that he was the only one. And he still is.