My Dessert Dreams

My Dream has a shape of Subaru Impreza WRX STI, 2006 year production. It is blue, the exact Subaru's blue color, with golden wheels. It is not only that I dream of that car. It is the way of life I dream of. The better one.
I am always bragging about my life. I am highly pessimistic when it comes to my abilities etc. I want Subaru, but I also want to earn it.
Once, I wanted to enter the best university in the country, and I'm in. Now I want the good car, my Dad is going buy it for me. Everything's quite perfect. But I feel that it is not the thing I want him to do. I need to feel the price of getting my Dream.
Jumping to another topic -- Some time ago I realised that I do not want to have power. But isn't that strange? Isn't it natural for a person to longe for power over other people, to talk, to make politics and to do that kind of things? Yeah, I know some people are not made for those things. Maybe I am one of them.
I miss my bro. He's got that girl and he lives with her for a few months now. He does not call me frequently. Now everyone's got someone here. And I feel even more alone. But that's ok. I can't imagine myself with someone (though, I can and so this is a lie, but it is a nice lie that makes me feel a little bit better as if I do not have the dreams at night where I am with friends who are being kind to me). I feel that my bro can do much better than he does now. But asking myself again and again I come to the simplest answer: in the end people only do what makes them happy. But do I do what makes me happy? I guess I am...
Living in the world for me seems like eating a pie. And I feel like now I am only eating small parts of it - those, which comes from the sides. And I still have a long way till I will be able to eat some with berries filling. This bite will be sweet and sour at the same time, just like the life is. But I do not know if I will ever try a single berry from this pie. I realise how ignorant, how weak and how tiny I am now before the immense knowledge that the world holds. I want to eat as much of the pie as I can while I'm still alive. Well, I like to enjoy my dessert to its fullest.