My consciousness

I... donno what to say. I feel very uneasy inside.
I just saw 'Tokyo Drift' on TV. And this movie is always so damn inspirational. But now I feel kinda not the way I used to after watching it.
I want to live consciously. I want to be the person someone would admire. I want to be marvellously smart and supa beautiful both inside and outside.
And I hate myself because of my fears. And omh! I should be sleeping by now!
What a person I am!

My inability

My inability to live a life I want to live... somehow scares me.

I 've been thinking about the priorities of my life today. And that's what I came with:

1. Learning which includes studying at the University and getting knowledge in different areas/sciences
2. Health is extremely important and that includes having good habits, too
3. Finding and improving my best and worst skills
4. Having fun
   

And I should mind the place where 'having fun' is now. It is the main thing that will help me to continue with my living. But I just have to keep in mind - my priorities today.

My 60th post

And now I have more posts here than in my previous blog from about a half a year ago.
My freedom-for-15-days is over soon and I wanted to think where did they go. So, I'll make a list, of course.

• I still have all the dust here in my room and it has been here since the time I stopped living in this room and went where it was faster for me to get to University (ok, I'm not quite sure that it is faster but cheaper - yeah)
• I watched a lot of anime but not as much as I could and I did that on purpose. I tried to finish some of the shows that I began some time ago. I began watching something new only once - this show that I've been waiting for
  
• I watched a few films (saw 'Into the Wild' just half an hour ago and my head still hurts a little because this guy was a fool and I cried for him)
• Read a lot of Narnia, tried some fast-reading skills that did not help at all
• Updated my account on dA and I'm quite proud of it, alright
• Went out to my old friend's birthday party
• Now I'm listening to Eddie Vedder - not a great accomplishment but I like his songs. They are somewhat thoughtful
  
• I dropped my habit of doing some exercises on my arms every evening - hope I'll have it again soon because when I have a place to go every day I am a bit more organised
  
• I did not follow my plan, and it was a wonderful plan with such a good things in it like 'read Bible' or 'learn some history'. I failed, ok
• I got a story devoted to myself. I'm kinda happy and I like the story too
• I began learning Spanish and it was cool but hmm I remembered about it just now
• I was lazy and stood up late and slept long through the day
• My granny caught the cold and I went at her place twice and I felt that I was ill after the second visit but then I ate an aspirin and slept for more than 12 hours and I was ok on the following day
• I guess I want to hear people's stories now. I mean real people's lives. But I think I will forget them as soon as I sleep
  
• I thought about life a little. A tiny bit of little thinking. I did not have any deep depression or anything, and my mental state was extremely stable, I should say. We don't count small things here
• I relaxed alone listening to the radio at the other side of this big city I'm living in etc. and it was good
• I don't think that this is all that I wanted to say but I'll finish the post right here.