Monday, November 17, 2008

It's that time of the month again...

It is the time of my depression. But now it seems a little different as I did not want to cry - I kept telling myself "It's ok, it's ok, it's ok". I have run out of the reality so far that I cannot see this gate on the horizon from where I've come there. I had to watch a few sad episodes to cry my heart out.
I felt pretty bad when I came home. My body hurts after sambo. I guess I'm not that serious person with good mental system. I become moody quite fast. Though my bad memory helps me not to have a grudge for anyone.
Well, not only that but it also came to my mind that I'm not a genius nor a talent. What am I exactly and what I am capable of doing? I do not know and I do not do anything to challenge myself. I look quite pitiful right now, am I? But I have few people to talk about this and they are not around now. So I'm writing it here. Sorry if it upsets you.
My heart was broken before I knew it could have some feelings. It is pointless to move further. It is not, of course, and these thoughts will go away within a week or so but why do I feel so bad now, knowing all this?
What should I do, huh?
I keep thinking why do I have these periods of depression so frequently. As I recall I had it last month too. Maybe it happens when I do not sleep properly?

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