My Smoking Matter

Ok, just to ease my mind.
Daaamn.
I remember every time she smoke in front of me. I remember what, when and why she smoke. I guess I fell in love with her before she gained that awful habit, so the only thing I could do was shut my mouth and stop thinking about that.
And still it's unfair. A lot of time passed since that time. I had to get over my feelings to another person because of that habit.
It feels like a friend deceived me for not telling me about the habit of smoking.
Well, it's not a big deal for most of people, but daaamn. It's an established chain of things for me: smoking, drinking, using drugs and getting laid with anyone. I do not do any of that. Well, I drink from time to time, never getting drunk, and so rarely and in so small amounts that I think it's ok, but feel that it is not right anyway.
As a retrospective person, I look back and think about the time I could make a choice. Yeah, my life would have been totally different by now. I am really unsure in what way, but 'funky' is the adjective that comes on my mind.
Aha, I slept though the day of course and did not cry, so I'm staying late tonight to study and hop - now I'm pondering over smoking and whether I can tolerate it or not. That's what comes when you get into relationship with humans. Damn. The funny thing is that the moment I heard about this I thought 'that's the end of it' and felt very very calm at last, after a long excitement and worrying. Would that be really stupid to give up on the guy whom you really like because of that? Well, I don't think it would. It's just that it's too late. Now he knows too much (muahaha). And now the only thing left for me is to get over it, shut my mouth and stop thinking about that.