I started crying again.
I don't know whether it is a good sign or a bad one. I guess I feel lonelier now, studies are over and I do not see people much. My real-life communication is not that broad.
I actually do not have a lot of friends. But those, who are near me are very precious and I do care about them a lot. Sometimes I don't know how to keep them in my life, though. And people just drift away. But it's ok, I stand for free will. What saddens me is the fact that they won't call me when in need. But I'm always there. I want to be that rock, which will stand still whatever happens. I will not be hurt. Because I love every one, who touched my soul and made me smile some time in the past. I just want them to know that. Call me and I'll come.
I finished Glee today. Which is fabulous in many ways. It's not intelligent series (maybe even vice-versa) but it still is heart-warming with all the brightness and happiness and songs. Also, it gets me emotional from time to time, because relationships there are pretty modern and sharp. Yes, I like drama. Anyway, the main character is a girl who has a dream so big, it moves her whole life.
And I don't have such a dream. I can't get up in the morning, because I don't think it's really worth it. According to Erik Erikson, that's a sign of identity crisis.
I've spent last 4 years of my life getting higher education at the law faculty. It was not a complete waste of time, but the thought of spending some more years getting Ph.D. in law makes me panic. I don't despise my education or career. I just wish I thought about it more. I want to have more experience in something different. It would be great if I had something that would keep me going day after day, motivate me to get better and not just 'I should get higher education because everybody in my family has it'.
I wanted to talk to someone about this. But I've got that idea lately - I whine too much about insignificant stuff. So, I've got to be strong. I have to do it with a smile and be an inspiration. And I've got my past, too. Not that I killed anyone, but I might have a few regrets. I used to avoid thinking about certain things, now I postpone 'talks with myself' and I keep distracting myself, so that I won't have to face it. Hopefully, I will find the courage to fix the things that are wrong with my life.
I don't know whether it is a good sign or a bad one. I guess I feel lonelier now, studies are over and I do not see people much. My real-life communication is not that broad.
I actually do not have a lot of friends. But those, who are near me are very precious and I do care about them a lot. Sometimes I don't know how to keep them in my life, though. And people just drift away. But it's ok, I stand for free will. What saddens me is the fact that they won't call me when in need. But I'm always there. I want to be that rock, which will stand still whatever happens. I will not be hurt. Because I love every one, who touched my soul and made me smile some time in the past. I just want them to know that. Call me and I'll come.
I finished Glee today. Which is fabulous in many ways. It's not intelligent series (maybe even vice-versa) but it still is heart-warming with all the brightness and happiness and songs. Also, it gets me emotional from time to time, because relationships there are pretty modern and sharp. Yes, I like drama. Anyway, the main character is a girl who has a dream so big, it moves her whole life.
And I don't have such a dream. I can't get up in the morning, because I don't think it's really worth it. According to Erik Erikson, that's a sign of identity crisis.
I've spent last 4 years of my life getting higher education at the law faculty. It was not a complete waste of time, but the thought of spending some more years getting Ph.D. in law makes me panic. I don't despise my education or career. I just wish I thought about it more. I want to have more experience in something different. It would be great if I had something that would keep me going day after day, motivate me to get better and not just 'I should get higher education because everybody in my family has it'.
I wanted to talk to someone about this. But I've got that idea lately - I whine too much about insignificant stuff. So, I've got to be strong. I have to do it with a smile and be an inspiration. And I've got my past, too. Not that I killed anyone, but I might have a few regrets. I used to avoid thinking about certain things, now I postpone 'talks with myself' and I keep distracting myself, so that I won't have to face it. Hopefully, I will find the courage to fix the things that are wrong with my life.
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