My week ending with tears

What if I cry in front of somebody? Nothing because: 1) I won't do this 2) it won't change anything.
I want to have someone in me. I don't want to wander in the darkness anymore. I want to love, to feel someone in my heart and thoughts. I want to sing out loud to the skies, to see the words flowing onto the paper, to be able to do magic. I want a full moon and stars high above and a tender light right into my soul, and gentle wind going through my long hair. I want to smile freely, not to sigh at weekends.
Back to reality: I hope Monday & Tuesday will pass quickly. These are surely not my favorite days of the week. I have a work tomorrow on philosophy.
I have a new blood-colored string on my wrist. I want to darken my hair, but I probably won't change anything. I will probably stay the way I am. Nothing's gonna ever happen. I am not Haruhi, and she won't come for me as I'm too normal for her. Ah~ Anime ruined my life *Brahaha*
I am gonna starve myself for a week and see what happens. This is one of my challenging projects. I just hope that the next week will be happier than this one, which actually ended with me crying.