My Coming Back and Future Super-Unique Life

I haven't been posting there for years. I haven't changed much though, I guess.
I had times like "I'd better blog today" or "I know what I'm going to right in blogger" but I never did. Too lazy, too forgetful.
My English is still not so good, I talk extremely little so I began listening to radio to keep up my pronunciation. Gah. "You got 24 correct out of 50 questions, for a score of 48 percent." - on my French beginning test on about.com
The day before yesterday one thought stroke my mind - that I would die soon. It just came back to me after some time, but I was a little bit depressed anyway.
Yesterday I watched the movie called Rushmore about a genius guy which quite impressed me with its power and vitality.
By the way, I'm skipping my only class today. Not because it is not interesting, but just because I don't feel like going. So, that's the way I am. Impressed, but not learning on others' mistakes.
Well, I'd like to fall in love because it seems so much fun to have a boyfriend/gf (haha, I know that these two things are like Taiwan and Switzerland). My friend has so many problems with her bf and I'd like to see if I could manage this kind of relationships. That's just that I don't see any candidates.
Oh, I would not write here if I did not think about my life priorities again. I just thought that getting all A-s is not my priority at University (though I never got them) but to get some experience and skills. And I want to go somewhere far-far away. Oh damn, I don't know what I really want to do in my life. I just don't feel that my higher education is going to be of a much help in my future super-unique life. Gah again. After deliberating the aims for a little time I came to the following list:

1. Read a lot of books both fiction and non-fiction to broaden my knowledge and to train my mind;
   
2. Get rid of the fear of speaking;
3. Improve memory;
4. Strengthen my self-discipline;
5. Deepen my knowledge in English and French;
   

This list is not done, I could add some other points like "find a job/scholarship" or something else.
Gah. I have a bad feeling that these were always my priorities but I never accomplished any of my aim so far.
Time to end this meaningless flow of words. Will go and read something.