My NOT Watching Scrubs Again

I've finished 1,5 seasons in two (!!!) days and I'm sad because the 3rd season ends not that good and happy.
I'm listening to REM's songs and trying to study for the next exam.
Oh noes - I wished to have some kind of romantic relationship but then I thought about how people get together and how they screw things up and get together with other people and then again with first people and I decided that was not my thing. Actually, I would like to wait for something that will at least be somewhere near my lowest standard level.
Moreover, who the heck do you think I am? I'm afraid to be with someone because I will have to reveal my fears and my weak points to him and that is dangerous - or that's just something I'm afraid of. Yet again I find it more convenient to think that I'm trying to become the best man I can be and then I will be ready to begin a relationship with someone.
But come on, those series are not real.
Erm, sorry, Scrubs is da best

P.S. As far as I remember I have never imagined my wedding when I was a child. I did imagine myself being a spaceship pilot, though. Yeah.

My motivational crisis

I don't like what I do, I still haven't found the way to live my life. I think that I am meant for better but I don't know what it is. I'm always fighting with myself over any thing that I ought to do but I get much less than desirable results.
I hate all this stuff. All the things that I have been telling myself since some time ago were made up out of nothing. They are not working. They never have been, but people liked my lies and were kind of impressed by them.
Now I'm (like I always have) crashing my foolish and totally unrealistic dreams and I know that on the other end of this road of disillusionment is maturity - or so-called maturity.
Well, OK, I'm gonna live this through while I am still alive and then we'll see what comes up next.

My lonesome

I want to have a lot of good friends around the world. I want them to be kind and understanding. I - I just want to be with someone to forget some of my dull thoughts, to enlarge my world and be happy while being with people.

My day of discouragement

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. ~~~ Voltaire

Well, I got my 'Good', not so deserved 'Excellent'. Not a tragedy, really, though I wanted a better mark. Now I know that impossible things exist =)
I was deceived and betrayal is an ugly thing. Always.
My, my, I will not get anything through this. What am I going to do with my whole life when I can't even enlist in a starfleet? Laugh. I can only laugh.

My humiliation

I know I'm kinda guilty of that myself. But being at home with them makes me feel miserable. The comment on my actions so sarcastically that I can't stand it. I hope my sarcasm goes better than theirs. I mean that I try not to insult people, but they don't care.
I want back...

Though, they give me food.

My Exams, Exams, Exams...

Exams, exams, exams, exams. Ok, I will stop swearing.
That's just... I am afraid of failing them and though I do not work for passing them and I'm only afraid. Ahehe.
I was so nervous at Tuesday that my hands were shaking. Nyoroon (c)
I got 3 zachets (of 4) already but only 2 of them are in my zachets' book.
On Wednesday 7 of 21 people in my group got an excellent mark for one subject and I felt frustrated because I could be one of them but I never think about it until it is too late.
Tomorrow is Prof. Polyanski's seminar and I'm going to prepare for it so he won't be disappointed.
Nah, I'm thinking about exams too much and I am too much afraid of them. Tomorrow is Friday already and I still haven't began preparing for exams.
Exams, exams, exams, exams.

My A-ahness

A-ah! Two days gone and spent in vain.
I had a car training and ended with a scratch during the wheels maintenance.
I met my old friend and got distracted by how he did not change a bit while I have changed so much. I guess it is inevitable - my mental growth, that is. I begin to feel power :D
Ok, I forgot to write an article and I don't wanna do it now, so I'll tell some lies tomorrow protecting myself (just kidding). I will surely write it tomorrow as soon as I finish with my University studies.
I looked for some nice scholarships (nothing did fit my desires) in the internet, then went to dA.com and - whoosh! - here I am sitting at my computer at 0.30 a.m.
But I'm still determined to do my best at the exams. I'm just a little bit tired now.
By the way, I did not find my summer skirts in the shelf. Maybe it is not summer yet and they are still somewhere in the southern lands, or should I begin to panic now?

Anyway, Hyvää yötä (おやすみなさい, bonne nuit, guten Nacht etc.)

My determination

Now, that I've come back from the country I am all fired up to begin studying for my exams. I want to pass them all without failing and redoing them in autumn.
Of course, first of all I went to the internet and looked for some tips & info.

1. Why you don't need top marks was the first article I read. I enjoyed it =)
2. How to cram for exams

Well, I also found a Cornell notes method and began using it for my studies right away.